Doing Internet Dating : In the Search for the Future Someone

Sammanfattning: In this explorative study internet dating is studied as shared commitment to a common collective activity. Focus is on social formative emotions and internet dating in the rhythm of everyday life. The study is based on an interactionist theory/method package related to grounded theory and situational analysis. Sixty-eight participants of a Swedish internet dating site have been interviewed by e-mail. Fifteen of these interviews were followed up by a second one. Internet dating mainly occurs during evenings at home. It is kept separate from other commitments in daily life, such as work, as collisions of activities might lead to emotional and tension-ridden situations. The essential social process involved in internet dating is searching for a future someone/something. This process is given strength by the future- and action-oriented emotion of hope of happiness. The future is represented in imagination by talk about sought for emotions. The internet daters want to end their commitment to internet dating, while the internet dating company, for economic reasons, wants them to continue with the activity. The internet daters learn to manage their spontaneous emotions; they learn not to show "too much" future-oriented emotions. Instead a "relaxed" attitude, based on the present, is encouraged among participants. The act of imagining and searching for a future someone/something is formalized and organized by means of internet dating sites. Emotions are thus being commercialized in the interest of the internet dating company.